Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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