Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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