a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
