Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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