She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
