I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
