So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize