Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
