Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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