I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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