i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
