Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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