I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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