Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
