their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
