so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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