capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
