its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
