I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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