Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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