I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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