I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
