Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize