After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
