the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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