Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
