Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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