Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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