i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
