Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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