I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
honey bunches of taint.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
