I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
