Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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