One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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