Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
