i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
