i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
