Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
