his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
