I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
