we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
