Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
