Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
