I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
