I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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