Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
