her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't deserve a penis
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
