I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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