I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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