Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think my vagina is haunted
what day is it and did you see me today?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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