I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
