How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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