Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
