You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize