What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
