Kiss
Puke
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
