I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
