he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
