I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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