so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
