and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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