Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize