He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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